We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
