Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How external is "for external use only"?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
