How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
