dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
