Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
