FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
