if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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