The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
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Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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