I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize