We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
