So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
