i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
