Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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