that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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