Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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