I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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