Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
