I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize