K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
