your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
