You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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