to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
