all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
