Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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