Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize