lets start a swedish sibling band together
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
A+ Viking dick
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
