I'm jealous of your bromance
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
