Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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