Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
