I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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