I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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