I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
