My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize