now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
