My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This girl is more easily done than said...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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