I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
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I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
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mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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