It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is it penis luge time yet?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
