Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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