:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
