what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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