I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
