Porn is love you can see.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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