Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
