his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
