dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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