just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
