so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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