So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
