i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
