dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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