He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
