she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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