She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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