You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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