doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Your cock deserves a montage
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
