Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
