he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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