Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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